“Did you know when he was born, they thought he was a girl? For 2 whole months! Because they couldn’t find his wee-wee. “He breastfed until he was 12 years old.” “He used to fingerpaint on the walls with his poopies. Believe me, one thing I would not miss? Balls. You know, if I could go back in time, I would lez it up 24 hours. You can put that lesbian in any kind of a dress you want and you know what you’re going to get? A lesbian. That one time Betty got hot and heavy with Bradley Cooper Sometimes when I see their big eyes looking up from my lap, I think that’s definitely a homeless guy in a fur coat.” 18. “These are people we’re talking about and not cats, right?” “There’s Fluffy, Princess, Tigger, and Socks.” On the frequent visitors to her home when asked by the Census Bureau “And don’t look behind your shoulder or you’ll meet the wonderful wizard of ASS.” “It’s about time somebody wanted me for my voice…and not my body.” Player: “You’re playing like Betty White out there”īetty: “That’s not what your girlfriend says.” But I took the batteries out to use in a crotch massager.” “Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of people’s vacations was considered a punishment.” Mixing up Ryan Reynolds with an assistant on 13. “When Betty White says she wants a cup of coffee, you get her a fucking cup of coffee. On her observations of George Takei and William Shatner Opening monologue for Saturday Night Live 11. “People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need an Ouija board.” “Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly.” “I love children, the only problem with children: they grow up to be people, and I just like animals better than people. It lasted six months and we were in bed for six months.” “I married my first husband because we wanted to sleep together. “I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship … I really thought we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared.” Of course, at my age there aren’t that many left!” I only go in the kitchen to feed my dog.” 2009 Screen Actors Guild Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech 3. And I’ve worked with quite a few … maybe had a couple … and you know who you are.” I look out at this audience and I see so many famous faces, but what really boggles my mind is that I actually know many of you. And my exercise: I have a two-story house and a very bad memory, so I’m up and down those stairs.” My favorite food is hot dogs with French fries. To celebrate Betty’s 99th here at Sammiches, we’re showcasing 99-ish of her funniest quotes and hilariously raunchy moments caught on camera. Which just proves she sticks to one of her tenets for living a long, happy life, which is to “First of all, keep busy.” “What am I doing for my birthday? Running a mile each morning has been curtailed by COVID, so I am working on getting The Pet Set re-released, and feeding the two ducks who come to visit me every day. You probably didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway,” White teased. In an exclusive quote for ET, Betty dished on how she plans to celebrate: Enjoy, and may Betty’s banter live on in the next world.īetty White, the world’s unofficial eighth wonder, turns 99 on Sunday, January 17th, and this is one of the few joys we get to celebrate, so we’ll take it. Our tribute to Betty’s 99th birthday highlighting her funniest and raunchiest moments follows. Update 12/31/21: Our beloved Betty has moved on to the next gig, having passed away at her home this morning, report several news outlets.
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